1. It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
2. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
3. I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
4. The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.
—Daniel J. Boorstin
5. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
—William Arthur Ward
6. If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.
7. You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.
8. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
9. Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.
—Alfred A. Montapert
10. I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
11. Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
12. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
13. There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.
14. It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.
15. I hear: I forget / I see: I remember / I do: I understand
16. Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
17. The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.
18. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
19. When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
20. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
21. If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.
22. Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
23. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
24. The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
25. You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
26. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
27. Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
28. Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
29. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
30. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
31. The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
32. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
33. I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.
34. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
35. If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
36. If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.
37. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
38. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
39. Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
40. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
—Franklin P. Jones
41. Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
42. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
43. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
44. A genius! For 37 years I’ve practised fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!
45. There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
46. The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.
47. The little I know I owe to my ignorance.
48. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
—George Bernard Shaw
49. In God we trust; all others bring data.
—Dr. W. Edwards Deming
50. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
51. Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
52. My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
—Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.
53. Simple, clear purpose and principles give rise to complex and intelligent behavior. Complex rules and regulations give rise to simple and stupid behavior.
54. Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
55. In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
—Dwight D. Eisenhower
56. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
57. Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.
58. Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
59. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
60. A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
—Martin H. Fischer